Summary of the way I used to be

 

Part 1: Freshman Year

 

Chapter 1

 

In Chapter 1 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden McCrorey’s life is shattered when she experiences a traumatic assault at the hands of her brother’s friend, Kevin, during a family visit. The chapter opens with Eden waking up, confused and disoriented, only to realize that she has been sexually assaulted in her own bedroom, a place she thought was safe. Overwhelmed by fear, shame, and disbelief, Eden grapples with the reality of the incident. Kevin threatens her into silence, and Eden feels trapped, unable to seek help from her family or friends. This initial chapter sets a dark and poignant tone, portraying the devastating effects of trauma and isolation on Eden’s young life. As she processes the experience, she begins to shut down emotionally, foreshadowing the struggles with anger, pain, and self-identity that will mark her journey throughout the book.

 

Chapter 2

 

In Chapter 2 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden McCrorey tries to cope with the trauma she experienced after being assaulted by her brother’s best friend, Kevin. Struggling in silence, she begins her freshman year feeling disconnected from her peers and family, unable to tell anyone about what happened. Eden becomes more withdrawn, plagued by shame and fear, and unsure how to navigate the conflicting emotions building inside her. She distances herself from her best friend, Mara, feeling isolated by the secret she’s keeping. The chapter conveys Eden’s inner turmoil and introduces the beginning of her transformation, as the weight of her trauma shapes her interactions and perceptions of herself. Through subtle but impactful descriptions of Eden’s thoughts and behaviors, the chapter reveals the challenging journey she faces, setting the tone for her complex emotional journey over the next four years.

 

Chapter 3

 

In Chapter 3 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden continues to struggle with the trauma of her assault by her brother’s friend, Kevin, and the weight of keeping it a secret. She feels isolated and emotionally burdened, unable to share her experience with her family or friends. At school, Eden becomes increasingly detached, often zoning out and avoiding others. Her perspective shifts, and she feels a growing anger and frustration at the world around her, particularly at the people who seem oblivious to her pain. She observes her classmates and teachers with a newfound sense of alienation, unable to relate to the normalcy of their lives. Eden’s self-image begins to deteriorate, and she internalizes blame, wondering if something about her caused the assault. This chapter deepens the exploration of Eden’s emotional state, setting the stage for her evolving coping mechanisms and the long-term effects of her trauma.

 

Chapter 4

 

In Chapter 4 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden struggles with the trauma of her assault and begins to distance herself from others as a coping mechanism. Her interactions with family and friends become strained, as she withdraws further into herself, haunted by painful memories. She feels isolated, unable to share her experience with anyone, and this silence amplifies her feelings of shame and confusion. At school, Eden finds herself avoiding her usual social circles, feeling as though she no longer belongs or relates to them in the same way. As her grades slip and her moods fluctuate, Eden starts to show signs of emotional distress, though she works hard to keep her pain hidden from those around her. This chapter delves into the complexity of Eden’s internal conflict as she begins to change, setting the stage for the emotional transformation she will undergo throughout the novel.

 

Chapter 5

 

In Chapter 5 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden continues to feel the emotional and psychological weight of her trauma but keeps it bottled up, unable to confide in anyone. Her pain grows as she struggles with feelings of isolation and helplessness, yet she feels she has no safe outlet for her emotions. Eden’s relationship with her family becomes strained, as they remain unaware of her internal turmoil. At school, she feels increasingly detached, unable to find comfort in friendships or academic routines. This chapter explores Eden’s growing disconnection and introduces the subtle, yet consuming changes in her personality. She begins to adopt a hardened exterior, distancing herself from the person she used to be. Her trauma begins to impact her worldview, making her feel alone in her suffering and frustrated with the lack of understanding from those around her. This chapter sets the stage for her slow transformation.

 

Part 2: Sophomore Year

 

Chapter 6

 

In Chapter 6 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden begins her sophomore year, carrying the weight of the trauma she endured the previous year. She’s changed, isolating herself from friends and family, and her internal struggle is palpable as she grapples with conflicting emotions of anger, shame, and numbness. Eden’s behavior shifts as she pushes boundaries and experiments with a new, rebellious persona to mask her pain. She’s determined to bury the memory of her assault, but the unresolved trauma affects her interactions with others, leading to strained relationships and misunderstandings. This chapter marks a turning point, as Eden’s actions reflect her attempt to gain control over her life, though she’s unable to express the depth of her inner turmoil. The chapter highlights her struggle to reclaim her identity, yet she feels increasingly disconnected, setting the stage for the challenges she’ll face throughout the school year.

 

Chapter 7

 

In Chapter 7 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden continues to grapple with the aftermath of her trauma, which she has kept secret from everyone around her. Now in her sophomore year, Eden tries to adopt a new persona to help her cope with the pain and anger she carries. She becomes increasingly distant from her family and friends, finding herself trapped in a cycle of isolation and self-blame. Eden’s emotional turmoil manifests in her attitude and actions as she begins to push people away, frustrated by her inability to move forward. The chapter reflects her deep-seated need to regain control over her life, though she struggles with how to achieve this without revealing her suffering. Eden’s behavior highlights the impact of unresolved trauma and foreshadows the challenges she will face as she attempts to find herself again amidst the emotional fallout.

 

Chapter 8

 

In Chapter 8 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden continues to struggle with her trauma, trying to mask her pain by adopting a hardened, rebellious persona. She distances herself from her old friends, choosing instead to spend time with a new group that encourages her to act out in ways she hadn’t before. Eden’s anger and isolation grow as she becomes increasingly detached from her family and former self, feeling misunderstood and disconnected from the people who once cared about her. The more she tries to ignore her trauma, the more it seems to affect her relationships and sense of self. This chapter captures Eden’s inner turmoil as she attempts to navigate her pain alone, hiding her suffering while her behavior shifts dramatically. Eden’s journey in this chapter illustrates her attempts to cope, despite the destructive path she begins to follow.

 

Chapter 9

 

In Chapter 9 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden McCrorey confronts the aftermath of the traumatic event that altered her life. As a sophomore, she grapples with feelings of isolation and guilt, struggling to maintain her facade while hiding her pain. This chapter highlights Eden’s internal conflict as she attempts to navigate friendships, school, and her changing relationships with family. Her best friend, although well-meaning, doesn’t fully understand the depth of Eden’s trauma, leading to moments of frustration. Meanwhile, the pressure of maintaining appearances weighs heavily on her, exacerbating her feelings of loneliness. Eden finds solace in writing, using it as an outlet to express her emotions and process her experiences. This chapter underscores the importance of self-expression and the challenges of seeking help while highlighting the impact of trauma on mental health, relationships, and the journey toward healing. Eden’s struggle resonates as she seeks to reclaim her sense of self.

 

Chapter 10

 

In Chapter 10 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden continues to grapple with the trauma of her past while attempting to navigate the complexities of high school life. As she faces increasing pressure from her friends and family, Eden struggles to maintain her facade of normalcy. This chapter delves deeper into her internal conflict, highlighting her feelings of isolation and shame. Despite her efforts to fit in, she feels increasingly disconnected from her peers, especially as they engage in conversations about relationships and experiences she cannot relate to. A pivotal moment occurs when she overhears a conversation that forces her to confront her feelings about her assault and the impact it has on her identity. The chapter poignantly captures Eden’s emotional turmoil and sets the stage for her journey toward healing, illustrating the challenges of coming to terms with her trauma and finding her voice amidst the chaos.

 

Chapter 11

 

In Chapter 11 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden continues to grapple with the aftermath of her trauma as she navigates her sophomore year. The chapter delves into her internal struggles, illustrating how the assault has affected her relationships with friends and family. Eden’s feelings of isolation intensify, and she finds it challenging to express her pain and confusion. As she attempts to fit in with her peers, she struggles to maintain a facade of normalcy. The chapter highlights her conflicted emotions toward her best friend, who seems unaware of the depth of her suffering. A pivotal moment occurs when Eden is confronted with a triggering situation that forces her to confront her past. This moment serves as a catalyst for her growing awareness of the importance of addressing her trauma and seeking support, ultimately setting the stage for her journey toward healing and self-acceptance.

 

Part 3: Junior Year

 

Chapter 12

 

In Chapter 12 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden grapples with the emotional fallout from her experiences and the ways they shape her relationships. As she navigates the complexities of high school life, she becomes increasingly aware of her feelings of isolation and the impact of her trauma on her interactions with friends and family. The chapter highlights her struggles with self-identity and the desire to reclaim the person she once was.

Eden begins to confront her pain more directly, reflecting on the events that led to her current state. She finds solace in writing, using it as an outlet for her emotions. This chapter also emphasizes the growing tension between her need for connection and her fear of vulnerability. As Eden faces the realities of her situation, she contemplates the challenges ahead, signaling a pivotal moment in her journey toward healing and self-acceptance.

 

Chapter 13

 

In Chapter 13 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden grapples with the lingering effects of her trauma as she navigates her junior year. The chapter highlights her struggle to maintain relationships with her friends and family, while feeling increasingly isolated. After a confrontation with her mother about her emotional state, Eden reflects on the silence that surrounds her pain. She starts to reconnect with her passion for music, using songwriting as an outlet for her emotions. Meanwhile, her friendship with her best friend, who remains unaware of the extent of Eden’s struggles, becomes strained as they face the typical challenges of adolescence. This chapter poignantly captures Eden’s internal conflict, illustrating her desire for connection while feeling unworthy of love and support. The weight of her unresolved trauma affects her decisions and relationships, pushing her further into introspection as she begins to seek healing.

 

Chapter 14

 

In Chapter 14 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden grapples with the fallout from her traumatic experiences and their impact on her relationships. As she navigates junior year, feelings of isolation and confusion deepen. Eden struggles with her identity, torn between her desire to connect with others and the weight of her unresolved trauma. A significant encounter with a friend forces her to confront her emotions, leading to a moment of vulnerability where she expresses her fears and uncertainties. This chapter highlights her internal conflict and the struggle to find a sense of normalcy amidst chaos. Through introspective moments, Eden begins to recognize the need for healing and the importance of opening up to those around her. The chapter serves as a pivotal point in her journey, emphasizing themes of resilience, the complexities of friendship, and the gradual process of reclaiming her sense of self after trauma.

 

Chapter 15

 

In Chapter 15 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden grapples with the aftermath of her trauma and the complexities of her relationships. As she navigates the challenges of junior year, she finds herself caught between her feelings for her best friend, Kevin, and her unresolved emotions about the assault. This chapter emphasizes her internal conflict, as she longs for connection but fears intimacy due to her past experiences. Eden’s interactions with Kevin become increasingly complicated, highlighting the tension between her desire for normalcy and the weight of her trauma. As she starts to confront her feelings, Eden reflects on the importance of speaking out and finding her voice. This chapter marks a pivotal moment in her journey toward healing, showcasing her growing awareness of the need to address her pain rather than suppressing it. The emotional depth of this chapter reveals Eden’s struggle for self-acceptance and her desire for genuine relationships.

 

Chapter 16

 

In Chapter 16 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden continues to grapple with the aftermath of her trauma as she navigates her junior year of high school. The emotional weight of her past experiences begins to take a toll on her relationships, particularly with her friends and family. Eden feels increasingly isolated, struggling to communicate her feelings and fears. As she attends a party, she faces the pressure to conform and mask her pain. The chapter highlights her internal conflict between wanting to fit in and the need to confront her trauma. Meanwhile, she encounters moments of vulnerability that allow her to connect with others who share similar struggles. This chapter emphasizes themes of healing and the importance of community, illustrating Eden’s slow journey toward reclaiming her identity and finding the strength to voice her experiences. The complexities of friendship and the impact of trauma continue to resonate throughout her life.

 

Chapter 17

 

In Chapter 17 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden confronts the lingering effects of her trauma as she navigates her complex feelings toward her relationships and her own identity. As her junior year progresses, Eden struggles with the impact of her past experiences, which continue to shape her interactions with friends and family. The chapter delves into her emotional turmoil, highlighting her feelings of isolation and the challenges of reconciling her trauma with the desire for connection.

Eden begins to open up about her experiences, tentatively sharing her story with those closest to her, which marks a pivotal moment in her journey toward healing. As she grapples with the fear of vulnerability, she also recognizes the importance of seeking support from those who care about her. This chapter emphasizes themes of resilience, the importance of communication, and the gradual process of reclaiming her sense of self amidst the chaos of her emotions.

 

Part 4: Senior Year

 

Chapter 18

 

In Chapter 18 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden grapples with the aftermath of her traumatic experiences as she approaches graduation. The weight of her past continues to affect her relationships and mental health. As she navigates her senior year, she faces the challenge of reconciling her identity with the person she has become due to her trauma. Eden confronts her feelings for both her friends and her family, reflecting on the distance that has grown between them. This chapter highlights her struggles with trust and vulnerability, as she learns to communicate her emotions more openly. An important turning point occurs when Eden finally acknowledges the impact of her past and begins to seek healing. The chapter emphasizes themes of resilience, self-acceptance, and the importance of support systems as she prepares to step into a new chapter of her life, both literally and figuratively.

 

Chapter 19

 

In Chapter 19 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden grapples with the weight of her trauma as she approaches graduation. As she reflects on her past and the experiences that have shaped her, the significance of her journey becomes clear. Eden’s relationships with her friends and family evolve; she seeks closure and understanding from those around her. This chapter highlights her struggle to reconcile her identity with the pain she’s endured. An emotional confrontation with a close friend forces Eden to confront her feelings about the past, leading to a cathartic moment of honesty. The chapter emphasizes themes of healing and self-acceptance as Eden begins to embrace her true self. The narrative captures the tension between moving forward and the lingering effects of her experiences, setting the stage for her final steps toward healing as she prepares to leave high school behind and step into a new chapter of her life.

 

Chapter 20

 

In Chapter 20 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden McCrorey reaches a pivotal moment as she confronts the lingering trauma from her past. With her senior year approaching its end, she grapples with the consequences of her decisions and the relationships that have shaped her journey. As she navigates her feelings for her friends and family, Eden finds herself at a crossroads, questioning her identity and the impact of her experiences on her future.

This chapter highlights her growing awareness of the need to break free from the constraints of her past and seek healing. Eden begins to open up about her struggles, both to herself and to those around her, which marks a significant step in her journey toward recovery. The emotional weight of her revelations sets the stage for the resolution of her internal conflicts and the possibility of reclaiming her sense of self.

 

Chapter 21

 

In Chapter 21 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden grapples with the aftermath of her decisions as she prepares for graduation. The emotional weight of her experiences throughout high school begins to surface, forcing her to confront unresolved feelings about the trauma she endured. Her relationships with family and friends are put to the test as she tries to reconcile her past with her aspirations for the future.

As Eden navigates the complexities of her emotions, she seeks closure with those who have been part of her journey, including her best friend and former love interest. This chapter emphasizes themes of healing and acceptance as she learns to embrace her true self. Through introspection and difficult conversations, Eden begins to understand the importance of speaking out about her experiences and finding strength in vulnerability. The chapter culminates in a sense of hope as she steps into the next chapter of her life, ready to reclaim her narrative.

 

Chapter 22

 

In Chapter 22 of The Way I Used to Be, Eden confronts the aftermath of her trauma with newfound clarity and strength. As she prepares for graduation, she reflects on her tumultuous high school journey and the relationships that shaped her. The chapter highlights her reconciliation with her past, particularly her interactions with family and friends. Eden seeks closure with her childhood friend and former crush, making amends and expressing her feelings. This pivotal moment emphasizes her growth as she learns to advocate for herself and embrace her identity. The chapter culminates in a powerful realization about the importance of self-acceptance and healing. Eden recognizes that while her experiences have left scars, they do not define her future. With the support of her friends and family, she steps into the next phase of her life, filled with hope and resilience. The chapter serves as a celebration of survival and the promise of new beginnings.

 

CHARACTERS IN THE WAY I USED TO BE

Eden McCrorey: The protagonist, Eden is a high school student who navigates the complexities of trauma, relationships, and personal growth. Her experiences shape her identity and influence her actions throughout the story.

Eden’s Parents: Both of Eden’s parents have distinct roles in her life. Her mother is often preoccupied with work and social status, while her father is more emotionally available, though their marriage is strained. Their dynamic affects Eden’s perception of relationships and family.

Tess: Eden’s younger brother, Tess is a significant figure in her life. Their sibling bond offers a glimpse into Eden’s protective instincts and her desire to shield him from the realities of their family’s issues.

Daniel: Eden’s childhood friend and first love, Daniel represents the innocence of her past. Their relationship evolves throughout the story, highlighting themes of love, friendship, and betrayal.

Amber: A close friend of Eden, Amber provides support during her struggles and represents a source of loyalty. Their friendship is tested as they navigate the challenges of high school and personal growth.

Eden’s High School Friends: A group of friends that includes a mix of personalities, some supportive and others less so. They illustrate the dynamics of teenage friendships, peer pressure, and the impact of social circles on Eden’s self-esteem.

Tyler: A classmate who becomes a romantic interest for Eden. His character challenges Eden to confront her feelings and navigate the complexities of intimacy after trauma.

Ms. Johnson: Eden’s guidance counselor, who tries to offer support and help her cope with her experiences. Ms. Johnson represents the adult figures in Eden’s life who genuinely care about her well-being.

Eden’s Grandmother: Although she has a minor role, Eden’s grandmother provides warmth and a sense of family, contrasting with the more strained relationships in Eden’s immediate family.

Secondary Characters: Various classmates, teachers, and community members contribute to Eden’s experiences, highlighting the societal pressures and expectations placed on teenagers.

 

THEMES IN THE WAY I USED TO BE

Trauma and Recovery: The novel centers on Eden’s experiences of trauma and her journey toward healing. It emphasizes the long-lasting effects of trauma on a person’s psyche and relationships, as well as the importance of seeking help and finding a path to recovery.

Identity and Self-Discovery: Eden’s journey is one of self-exploration and understanding who she is beyond her experiences. The narrative highlights the struggle to reclaim one’s identity after trauma and the process of redefining oneself amidst societal and familial expectations.

Friendship and Betrayal: The dynamics of friendship play a crucial role in Eden’s life. The novel explores the complexities of loyalty, trust, and betrayal as Eden navigates her relationships with friends and their responses to her trauma.

Family Dynamics: Eden’s relationships with her parents and brother reveal the impact of family on individual growth. The novel addresses issues of communication, support, and the challenges of navigating family dysfunction in the aftermath of trauma.

Love and Intimacy: The theme of love, both romantic and platonic, is central to Eden’s story. The novel explores how trauma affects relationships and intimacy, as well as the challenges of opening up to others after experiencing pain.

Societal Expectations: The pressures of fitting into societal norms and expectations are evident in Eden’s interactions with peers and adults. The narrative critiques how societal views on femininity, sexuality, and success can impact self-esteem and personal choices.

Healing and Empowerment: Throughout the story, Eden learns to advocate for herself and take control of her narrative. The theme of empowerment is highlighted as she confronts her trauma, seeks support, and learns to embrace her story as part of her identity.

Mental Health: The novel addresses the importance of mental health awareness and the stigma surrounding it. Eden’s struggles with anxiety, depression, and the need for therapy underscore the necessity of discussing mental health openly and seeking help.

Isolation and Loneliness: Eden often feels isolated due to her experiences and struggles to connect with others. This theme reflects the emotional toll of trauma and the longing for understanding and connection.

Coming of Age: As a coming-of-age story, the novel captures the transitions and challenges of adolescence. Eden’s growth throughout high school highlights the journey from childhood to adulthood and the lessons learned along the way.